The greatest hunger for an individual is not satisfied by food, nor is it fulfilled by acquiring money, success or even the love of another person. The greatest hunger for an individual is insatiable and is in direct relation to the presence of something far greater than self. Let’s just say that to engage in the presence of something far greater than self requires only one commandment: Be still.
However, many of us have forgotten how to be still and the reasons are plain to see. Yet to be still is the key that unlocks the hidden dimensions of infinite possibilities. The inability for us to be still is in direct relations to the tension that exists between our loneliness and our solitude. To be still is the bond that transforms us from loneliness to solitude. It is the bond that quiets the Self, to hear the still voice within and unveils our connection to Source.
Thomas Merton says, “Actually what it comes down to is that I shall certainly have solitude but only by a miracle and not at all by my own contriving. Where? Here or there makes no difference. Somewhere, nowhere, beyond all “where.” Therefore, let’s suggest that through our spiritual practice of stillness we come to know what it means to heal and move through adversity, to reveal our Self in revelation, the mystery of something far greater than self.
Profoundly my road to motherhood was an opportunity to move through adversity and reveal my Self in revelation to the mystery. For many, the ability to mother is as easy as blending together flour, two eggs, a little shortening, add some cream, and voila, a bun in the oven. On the other hand, I was presented with a ten-year journey of obstacles, disappointments and challenges that cultivated in me a desire to know my strengths and my weaknesses. Let’s just say that my journey to motherhood was an opportunity to step out of what it means to be challenged and to cultivate my connection with the still voice within. You know the one that gently guides us, “Come over here. Come over here. Come over here”. ‘
Now ponder for a moment and ask yourselves, where is my still voice and am I listening?
Lao Tzo said it brilliantly, “Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving till the right action arises itself?” He is asking us to take the time to cultivate a peace within so that we can allow the inspiration or the emotion to move through us. It is if to say, let the energy move through you and not be you.
What would it be like to let go of your limitations and trust that you are not alone? It is as if someone has your back and they are holding the state of pure potentiality and possibilities for you. You are guided with information or experiences to move you closer to your heart’s desire. All it ask’s of you is to let go of the stories, the chatter and the fear that blocks your ability to receive. To be still at times is in direct relation with the tension that exists between what our mind is telling us to do and what our heart is asking us. It is in this tension that we struggle. It is here that sometimes we find ourselves standing at a crossroad.
Which path do we walk upon? My paths were many and rightly so. No one would have thought different of me if I chose the path of suffering by creating a story, living in denial and avoidance. In fact, I think many would have preferred that choice. It was the path that was most traveled. However, I chose to hear the still voice within and to move out of my comfort zone, to step on to new terrain and walk the path overgrown.
Merton reflects to God, “You have called me into this silence to be grateful for what silence I have and to use it by desiring more”.
Like Merton I desired more. I desired motherhood. Throughout this journey Source was preparing me to be a leader and to do so without a play book. I was a pioneer who was traversing new territories without a map and seeking higher truths without Scripture to follow. I was in union with a force so real and so intimate that I never doubted my pursuit of motherhood. I was called to move beyond the norm, to trail new paths and to do so with only the still voice of unwavering knowledge.
You know what I mean, the still voice that calls us to move beyond our fears, our physical, emotional and mental pain. The voice within that says go there, it’s ok, you are loved, keep trying, you know you can….It was as if I became a warrior with a desire so compelling. So compelling that I chose to trust, to let go, to move beyond the appearance of obstacles and to go the distance. The voice that reassured me that I was not alone, resourceful and on the right path.
Now I say to you with change there is always resistance and you might ask, what if the resistance gets the best of me? I say what if it doesn’t? What if you are guided from within? And from within you are experiencing life in a more magical way, a life with miracles. I say, desire more, be more, lead without knowing and trust the process. In doing so, you will hear the still voice within that is moving you forward. Your heart’s desires will unfold and you will transcend the density and live the life you were born to live. You will meet your challenges resourced and you will move beyond adversity. You will be in union with Source guided by the still voice within to manifest your heart’s true desires. On Easter Sunday April 19, 1992 I was blessed by the stars with the birth of our son Frank. Honored by his presence and his persistent calling through Source to be born I am a mother.
I dedicate this page to my son Frank who has profoundly called me to go within, to let go and to allow opportunities for miracles to be present. I love you. Mom
Mom and Frank